OCD … thats not true

Some more lies tried to run me over today, but I decided not to believe in them AGAIN.
I am not completely sure why, but I seem to be developing the ability to “see” more and more of my misperceptions. The below verse comes to mind as I write this:

1 Corinthians 3:6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered the plants, but God made you grow.

I suppose the reason being, is I planted the seed (decided to believe it was a lie) by doing this I then walked forward in faith and was watered by those who responded around me. However it’s neither I who planted or those who watered who is at the center of this process – its God. He’s given me the ability through the action of faith to transform my mind so that I can see.

Today I believed the lie that I wasn’t good enough, well it was for a short moment, until I decided to give it the boot and be the lovely person I really am. I felt so empowered. Instead of cowering or bowing down to the lie, I stood proud, proud of my body (ignored the lie that I should feel ashamed), and I let my personality shine. I let my intelligence come forth, my love come forth and my social butterfly strengths where unleashed. I smiled, I felt as good as the people I was talking too. I felt confident, I felt worthwhile and I felt valuable. Sorry. lets take out that “felt” part, because actually it was more important to say that “I was confident, worthwhile and valuable”, and the feeling on this occasion happened to follow.

I am noticing recently, that my mind has been responding to a simple and immediate response of: “Thats not true”. This has been my response to all OCD thoughts. They don’t get entertained fullstop. And my mind has been strengthened because I have decided to believe it myself. I am tired of looking for proof from some outside source – its an illusion that will never be quenched.

I’ve noticed that even with people that I feel intimidated by, I realise I still have the “way out” that the Lord promises me … that “way out” is to not agree with the intimidation, and I can say “thats not true”. It persists for a bit, but after a while, I am noticing my mind is really responding to the training I have been giving it. God has been good and is making my mind strong as a reward!!

Thats liberating. Thats freedom. On other days I suffer from Relationship OCD, doesn’t seem I suffer from it today though.

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4 thoughts on “OCD … thats not true”

  1. I must say, I’m still new to commenting on others’ OCD issues let alone with simply reading them. ^^;

    Any who, I think it’s great that you’ve been developing this way of working against the OCD and that you’re not standing for its bullshit any longer. That is lovely and such a wonderful victory. Keep working hard in recovery, you will get far. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment 🙂 Yes a big key for me right now is simply responding to the OCD by saying: “Thats not true”. I have previously felt an obligation to entertain the OCD, to proove that the opposite is true.

      I’ve recently realised that I don’t have to proove anything neither must I find my own “truth” I just have to point out the lie, and then it dies of its own accord. I don’t want to waste my time proving myself to a bully. 🙂 🙂

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      1. No problem! I would just suggest being careful that doesn’t lead into reassurance seeking, since if it decreases the anxiety it may be construed as a compulsion. The OCD is fun, isn’t it? One of the things I hate most about it is when our actions or reactions can be seen by others as compulsions, so I apologize if I’m falling somewhere on that fine line with what I’m saying, too. =/

        Absolutely, yes. OCD sure is a real bully. And ‘proving’ one’s self, yes, I had that problem myself when it came to the OCD and to depression. Those were rough times! D:

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  2. Ah yes I understand the whole reassurance seeking, and I can honestly say, it is definitely not said from the ATTITUDE of reassurance. No way, I know what you mean though as I’ve learnt this about OCD through various things I’ve read. It is said from the standpoint of CONFIDENCE. OCD says that you have no right to be confident in your area of weakness, and now I say, nope, that is simply not true. I am allowed to be as confident as I want to be 🙂 :). I really think that everything comes down to attitude. It is so hard to teach a person attitude because one set of actions may represent one attitude to one person, yet the same set of actions will represent a completely different attitude. Political correctness for example is just a set of actions, it doesn’t actually change a persons heart, what we all need is the right attitudes to be revealed in our own hearts, not a set of rules. However the paradox will be, that once our heart attitude is right, we will naturally follow the rules with no effort of our own 🙂 🙂

    Anyway, I have noticed that this new attitude of mine hasn’t given me more anxiety at all, just peace. And trust me, my OCD has been the nightmare of all nightmares, so this is good news. I have noticed though I have been a bit compulsive in a completely different area which never existed before, and that is I have been freaking out about the house being untidy when visitors come. But I don’t care, because at least I recognise the beast, the beast is just trying a different angle, pathetic angle too might I add. 🙂

    I love your comments so thanks for your response. I am hoping to see both of us walk to Victory. 🙂

    Like

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