Just so you know … I’ve been going really well. Been facing life so positively, excited about the future. Loving my children and husband!
Today, I have noticed that the awful grip of the past/rejection … Is loosing its grip on me.
Last night I had it on my heart to pray for a couple of my dear Christian friends. And now for the first time I realise I am no longer in bondage in this particular area of my life.
Anyway once I started my prayers, I realised that I wasn’t to pray FOR them, but I was moved to PRAISE God for them. WOW. It was so lovely and amazing, and powerful to experience my gratefulness in the full for them. But it didn’t stop there. My spirit soared higher and higher as I was then praising God for ALL of my Christian friends that I had met in the last 3-4 years. I saw just how precious they are.
It was like medicine for my soul to praise God on this matter, as it seems to have release me from an awful prison that I’ve been held in for many, many years. You see I felt this sense of rejection from alot of my friends (non-Christian) because of my rOCD. I didn’t have a name for it at the time, but because I was suffering from this form of OCD it made me quite ill. Anyway, as a result I was cut off from them. But after last night, I realised, I am not a looser, I am not at the tail. I am winner, I am at the head! I am blessed and a child of God. I no longer have to be accepted by those that have rejected me, because I am accepted by my God.
I have always had intrusive thoughts come into my mind that I had been unable to resist, telling me that I had failed, and lost a part of myself by not succeeding in these friendships. But I now realise, that they where fools gold. Like really. They are not the real deal. For so long I believed that as long as I was rejected by them, I would never be whole. But you see I had it all wrong to place my value in those that did not truly value me. My identity is no longer wrapped up in them, but my identity is now in Jesus. I am valuable to Him. You know its taken me years to actually GET this. But this one moment has unveiled the truth to me.
Thankyou God for giving me the weapon of PRAISE
I have a wonderful relationship with my God. Even though, on some days I suffer from severe Relationship OCD